Wedding seating chart etiquette: who sits where

There are a few traditions around wedding seating, and a lot of unwritten rules people worry about. Here's what usually goes where, what matters, and what you can safely ignore.

The head table or sweetheart table

You have three common options:

• A head table with the couple and the wedding party, facing the room.
• A sweetheart table for just the two of you, with the wedding party seated among the guests.
• A family table: a large round with the couple, their parents and perhaps grandparents.

Traditionally the couple sits in the middle of a head table, with the best man and maid of honour beside them. Today, any arrangement that feels right is fine. A sweetheart table frees the wedding party to sit with their own partners, which many guests appreciate.

Whichever you choose, the couple should face the room, so guests can see you during speeches.

Parents and grandparents

Parents usually sit at tables close to the couple, often with grandparents, the officiant and close family friends. Each family can host its own table, or both families can share one if they get on well.

Grandparents and older relatives need:

• A seat with a clear view of the couple.
• Distance from loud speakers.
• Easy access to the restrooms and exits.

Divorced or separated parents

This is one of the most common worries. A few gentle approaches:

• Give each parent their own table, each at the same distance from the couple, so neither seems to be ranked higher.
• Let each parent host their own family and friends at that table.
• Don't force a reunion. If parents don't get along, a shared table puts everyone on edge.

When in doubt, ask each parent privately what they'd prefer.

Plus-ones and couples

Seat couples together, always. If a guest is bringing a date who knows nobody, place them at a table where their partner knows people, and with friendly guests who will include them.

Single guests

Some couples worry about a "singles table". A better rule is to seat single guests with people they know or have things in common with, rather than grouping them because they're single.

Kids

• Babies and toddlers sit with their parents, ideally near an exit for quick escapes.
• Older children often enjoy a kids' table with activities, near their parents' table.
• Teenagers usually prefer sitting with each other, or with older cousins.

People who don't get along

Put them on opposite sides of the room, and keep them off each other's path to the bar or the dance floor. In SeatPlan you can mark two guests as keep apart, and the seating checks will warn you if they end up at the same table.

Rules you can skip

• Strict boy-girl-boy-girl seating at every table. Few people expect it any more.
• Separate "his side" and "her side" at the reception. Mixing families is part of the fun.
• Assigned seats rather than assigned tables. Many couples assign tables and let guests choose their seat. It's less work and guests like the freedom.

For the full process, from sorting your guest list to sharing the final plan, see our guide on how to make a wedding seating chart.